Weasel Week, NCAA Style

Hail to the victors ... those weasel scum.

Yes, it's Michigan week for UNO hockey, the week that breeds more hate than holidays with the in-laws. And why do Maverick fans hate Michigan so much? Because they are good. Because they are cocky. Because they represent all that is powerful and supreme about college sports and they sure as hell let you know about it.

And we hate that at UNO, because we work for everything we get. Michigan is ego-driven, brie-eating, executive suite ticket holding, everything an evil empire boasts. Well, excess ain't rebellion.

As Mavericks, we don't have daddy pay our education, we don't get Mercedes' for graduation presents and we work our Midwestern asses off for everything we earn. It's high time UNO, fans and players alike, show them what exactly a Midwestern beating feels like. But be classy about it. As fans, we don't want to stoop to the M-level.

One thing UNO won't have deal with is the insanely rude student section that the weasels boast at Yost. It may be one of the loudest student sections in the nation, but it's also the most annoying. The kids' mouths are so full of toilet water that even Michigan Head Coach Red Berenson requested they tone it down before
he brought his grandson to a game.

After an opposing player's penalty is when it is the worst. Many fans in the country have a chant. "Skate, skate, skate ..." At UNO, the fans then yell "Sit down, hack!" Michigan students go on a
tirade of four-letter words I'd be embarrassed to spout in front of my fraternity brothers, let alone at a hockey game with 6,000 other people.

Speaking of toilets, a thread on Mavpuck.com, a Maverick hockey fan site, begged the question "Would you rather wear a Maize and Blue hockey sweater or clean all the toilets at the Qwest Center with your tongue?"

So now that we re-visit our old badger friends, er Wolverines of our former conference,we shall treat them like we did the Badgers. Relentless aggression. Pepper spray on the goalie. Kitchen sink in the back of the net, over and over. Wave after wave of talent, speed, power, skill, not to mention the national shutout leader in net. We've won the last three of four. We punked them in their own building and we've already beat the No. 1 team in the nation, twice. Think we're worried about you rodents? This is a brand new UNO. We are Mavericks. Get ready for the cowbell and unleash the fury!